As I have gotten older, it has gone to prove that you grow wiser with age. (ahem, in most cases…). I used to just blurt out how I felt about anything and anyone in ways that I am now ashamed of and am truly sorry. It’s amazing how one of the smallest members of your body, can be responsible for murdering someone’s spirit or ministry. And no, I’m not talking about the trigger finger.
I can freely talk about some of my personal situations, as most of our readers do not know my personal life or circle of friends. Names will still not be mentioned.
I am a very passionate person when it comes to things that I believe in. I believe and love and have faith with my whole heart.
Some time ago, something happened and I was tore up inside. I was really hurt. It takes a lot for me to confide in anyone outside of my husband, mother, sister, and 2 best friends. But I confided anyway. She was a true confidant in herself, but others heard the conversation. I spoke out of my hurt. My anger. My confusion. And held nothing back. I had finally let it all out. Well, low and behold, a few months later, after everything in my mind and heart had finally smoothed out, my conversation came back to bite me in the butt! Big time. Those “others” that heard, repeated everything that I had poured out, to those whom I was hurt with. (I’m the type, whom within time, I sweep it under the rug and I’m fine. I forgive, but the forgetting can be hard.) It brought all the hurt back times 10, because the ones I love where the ones who spread the damage. It definitely caused a permanent wall to form in some areas, though, I have had to lay it all down.
I have not gone out of my comfort zone circle of friends since. Though I should not have spoken out of my hurt and anger, and I did apologize to the offended party, once words are spoken, they can never be taken back. They keep going and going…
My ministry has been damaged to those who were offended and things are brought to my memory of how I felt, but I have to rebuke those memories because I have forgiven and have asked the others for forgiveness.
Be careful of what you say and do. People will always be watching or waiting for you to fall. It can and will be used against you. As I have stated in the past, I love the quote, “Lord, keep one hand around my shoulder and the other over my mouth!” I do not want to be responsible for murdering with my tongue. I want to be a compassionate encourager. And when I’m having trouble with something or a situation, I take it to the Lord in prayer. (And sometime the ones in my comfort zone.)
So beware of the little foxes that spoil the vine. It doesn’t take much to tear down what takes so long to build up.