Tag Archive Choices

ByJennifer A. Janes

Success Is Possible, Even After You’ve Blown It

As moms, we’re pretty hard on ourselves. If dinner burns, we forgot to get five things at the grocery store (although, in all fairness, they weren’t on the list), the kids misbehaved in Sunday school, or the neighbor complains that our dog is too noisy, we’re quick to blame ourselves. But what about when a marriage struggles, relationships with our children are strained, or we lose a job? Right. We blame ourselves there too.


Success is possible, Even after you've blown it - Jennifer A. Janes - Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven - RaisingStickyHands.com


We’re human. Of course we bear part of the blame! But most of these scenarios involve situations and people that we can’t control on our own. So we aren’t wholly to blame, even though it feels like it.


How do you recover from failures like these? How do you survive the stress and strain? How do you find success again? There are solutions, and they’re not as complicated as you might expect, whether the issues are big or small:



  • Seek forgiveness. From God, the people you’ve hurt or offended, and yourself. Without forgiveness, you may find a root of bitterness, anger, or resentment taking root, and that will make your problems worse, not better.
  • Ask God what you can do to change the situation. Obviously, a recipe that needs tweaking will be much easier to fix than a relationship that needs repair. God has the answers for every situation, and He can show you exactly what to do to facilitate the healing and restoration that need to take place.
  • Pray for the other people involved. Pray that while God is doing a work in you, that the other people involved in the situation will allow Him to work in their lives too.
  • Remember that your today doesn’t define your tomorrow. While we sometimes have to live with the consequences of today’s choices for a long time, it doesn’t mean that we’re trapped into continuing along the same path indefinitely. You can choose to make a different choice today than you made yesterday, and God is right there to help you do it.
  • Take deep breaths. If you’re living in the aftermath of abuse or divorce, it can be easy to respond as if the family members in your life today are the same ones who caused you so much pain and heartache in the past. Don’t let your past ruin your relationships with people who behave like they’re supposed to but are human and make mistakes. I have had to do this when confronted with possible trust issues with my husband. He is not the man who hurt me so many years ago.

Obviously, these are pretty vague, and they don’t apply equally to all situations, but the basic principles are there. God can help you through any failure you find yourself in. He will see you through all the pain and heartache to the other side, if you will surrender yourself to Him to bring the healing and restoration you need.


Um, God? This Isn’t What I Had Planned…

My 10th birthday, clockwise from top: Me, thinking I'm soooo cool with my dumb arm up; Crystal; Kristeena; Kristianna WAY into her mexican lime salt; Kyndra, taken off guard; & Kara, always happy and giggly.

As a child, my friends (that are all more like family) and I would often play house. Crystal would have either 1 or 2 kids. Kristeena would be the babysitter. Kristianna would be the family pet… usually a dog. (I’m happy to report now that she is NOT a dog, but a happy wife and mother of a beautiful baby girl…) Me? I was the crazy one who wanted to pretend I had 6-10 kids. Most often, Crystal would say “That’s crazy. No more than 6. We can’t keep up with all the pretend names.” And boy, would I come up with those names. Every time there was a “Rebecca-Ann Marie” (And if you know me well enough, you know my first daughter had a very similar name.) and I LOVED playing the part.

My "Beccarie", at the "Sweet" age of 2. My angel. She's now 9 and sweeter than ever.

Nick, Kyndra, & Kara always played along. Nick would be “Uncle Michael” and his wife would always be “Aunt Michele”. Kyndra would usually be one of Crystal’s kids, but sometimes mine… and Kara was mine every time. Being that Kara was half my age at the time and quite a bit smaller than I, I loved that I could carry her around on my hip or to cradle her in my arms. She was always 5 months old and had a different name every game session. Don’t ask me why 5 months and not 6 or 4. It’s just how it was.

This was my plan. From a young girl. I was to be a Mommy of a VERY large group of children. And I am… but not as many as I thought I would have…

I’m facing a difficult decision due to physical problems; It involves my fertility.

I always said that when God said it was time to stop having children, he would tell me loud and clear. That he has. I believe soon I may be undergoing a hysterectomy or treatment that will prevent me from having more children.

One of those rare moments they all sat still... enough...

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I have a large family and I’ve been blessed. It’s just not what I had planned.

Saturday night, dealing with a hot flash, I stepped outside. Looking at the stars, I flat out asked God, “What is your plan? I’m open to what you have, it’s just this is what I thought you called me to do? I’m only 30. I didn’t expect this so soon.”  In my heart I felt him say, instantly, “It is what I called you to do, but there is something else waiting in the wings. Just wait and see. It will take time. Hold on.”

So here I am: At peace, finally. At the end of my life I may not have 6-10 children, and that’s okay. This wasn’t an easy thing to let go of, as I’m a “planner”. But, the 5 I have are the best things that EVER happened to me. God knows what He’s doing, all the time.  I’ll trust in Him.

Are you facing a situation in which you are not sure what God is up to? Has the decision been taken out of your hands? Let me tell you, friend, give it all to Him. He really does know what He’s doing. If you need prayer, let us know either here or on our Prayer Wall. We’ll pray with you.





To fully understand the reason why Angie picked this song, please visit Random Epiphanies of An Imperfectionist and click on Sunday, April 22nd’s post. Thank you.