As moms, we’re pretty hard on ourselves. If dinner burns, we forgot to get five things at the grocery store (although, in all fairness, they weren’t on the list), the kids misbehaved in Sunday school, or the neighbor complains that our dog is too noisy, we’re quick to blame ourselves. But what about when a marriage struggles, relationships with our children are strained, or we lose a job? Right. We blame ourselves there too.
We’re human. Of course we bear part of the blame! But most of these scenarios involve situations and people that we can’t control on our own. So we aren’t wholly to blame, even though it feels like it.
How do you recover from failures like these? How do you survive the stress and strain? How do you find success again? There are solutions, and they’re not as complicated as you might expect, whether the issues are big or small:
- Seek forgiveness. From God, the people you’ve hurt or offended, and yourself. Without forgiveness, you may find a root of bitterness, anger, or resentment taking root, and that will make your problems worse, not better.
- Ask God what you can do to change the situation. Obviously, a recipe that needs tweaking will be much easier to fix than a relationship that needs repair. God has the answers for every situation, and He can show you exactly what to do to facilitate the healing and restoration that need to take place.
- Pray for the other people involved. Pray that while God is doing a work in you, that the other people involved in the situation will allow Him to work in their lives too.
- Remember that your today doesn’t define your tomorrow. While we sometimes have to live with the consequences of today’s choices for a long time, it doesn’t mean that we’re trapped into continuing along the same path indefinitely. You can choose to make a different choice today than you made yesterday, and God is right there to help you do it.
- Take deep breaths. If you’re living in the aftermath of abuse or divorce, it can be easy to respond as if the family members in your life today are the same ones who caused you so much pain and heartache in the past. Don’t let your past ruin your relationships with people who behave like they’re supposed to but are human and make mistakes. I have had to do this when confronted with possible trust issues with my husband. He is not the man who hurt me so many years ago.
Obviously, these are pretty vague, and they don’t apply equally to all situations, but the basic principles are there. God can help you through any failure you find yourself in. He will see you through all the pain and heartache to the other side, if you will surrender yourself to Him to bring the healing and restoration you need.