Tag Archive Essie

ByKaren

Forced Friendships

As a person who only has a very small handful of close friendships, I feel as if I can write about this subject from an insiders view.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a hard time making friends with people. My lifestyle just doesn’t quit mesh well with others. Growing up, I never got the invites that everyone else did, because I held standards that others did not. Everyone knew that I wasn’t the one to go ahead and do what I wasn’t supposed to do.

1206728_21045799Now, I cringe as I see my children going through the same thing. We raise our children with Godly standards. They know that they can’t do as others do. (Doesn’t mean that they are perfect or won’t try to do wrong, and I know that not all other kids are bad or do wrong.) They don’t get the invites that everyone else does. They struggle with making friends.

Essie recently was invited to a sleepover and it was her first one that did not include family. I was apprehensive at first, because she doesn’t know how to “play” well with others, on a normal level. Because of her ADHD, she can be more selfish than other kids her age. That’s just the way her mind works. I picked her up the next day, asked her how everything went, and she had fun. Of course I asked if she played with any of her classmates from dance, and she said no. I was disheartened at first, then she said, “Momma, there was one girl that played with me a lot.” I asked her what her name was and she didn’t remember, but knew that she had a lot of freckles! I was just glad that she found a new friend out of several that were in attendance!

1159995_79733938It’s hard to make her understand that just because she “knows” several people, doesn’t mean that she will have friendships with all of them. Some people just mesh well with others and are great friends from the first moment they meet. I have to remind her that she MUST be as polite as possible to everyone, whether they treat her the same way or not. She has a hard time with this concept.

My oldest, Josie, has a few friends that are more acquaintances. She eats lunch with them at school and such. However, when it comes to a true friendship, I believe she has 2. Her birthday party was a disappointment. We do not listen to secular music and because we wouldn’t play the junk that is popular today, most of the ones who came left and went to another party where the parents are more lenient. It was a hard lesson for her to learn, but she learned a big one about priorities and who will use you for what reason.

1159993_12104124My boys are pretty much the same way. They don’t really have anyone to claim as friends. It’s heartbreaking to hear your 12 year old son say, “Why don’t I ever get invited anywhere?” He literally has no one. He also has ADHD and had trouble when he was younger developing a friendship. He is not in sports and is more drawn to anything music/instruments related.

The “REAL” world is cruel. People look out for themselves and what they can gain from any given situation, and their children have learned these ways. It makes me glad that my children have honored the values that we have instilled in them. I just wish other parents would teach their children that “social status” and “popularity” is not everything. It often leads to a road of brokenness because you can’t always “Keep up with the Jones'”. I’d rather my children have 1 or 2 close friendships that mean something, than lots of fake friendships that destroy, compete, and tear you down.

If you are a parent, ask yourself “What type of child am I raising? Have I taught them the golden rule of treating others as they would like to be treated?” Or do you teach them, “An Eye for an Eye?”, or to look down on others who are not like them or share your beliefs?

ByKaren

Radshack, Backyak, & Indigo?

Essie at her birthday party. No animals were sacrificed (or harmed in any other way) in the making of this photo! ;)

Essie at her birthday party. No animals were sacrificed (or harmed in any other way) in the making of this photo! 😉

I love to hear my children re-tell me the stories of the Bible that they have learned. Their take on lessons learned from Sunday School, Children’s Church, and home, can be somewhat hilarious.

Recently, Essence, my 7 year old, ask me why Jesus had to be crucified. I explained to her that He was the ultimate, sacrificial Lamb, to forgive us for everything that we’ve done wrong. Which lead to having to explain the animal sacrifices of the Old Testament.

I didn’t think anything more about it, until we were on our way to church this past Sunday. My husband and I over heard Essie talking in the backseat, “explaining” the “lesson” I had have given her, to our other children. It was all we could do to keep from “full, belly laughing”. She was telling them about having to cut open the animal, spreading blood on your face while praying for forgiveness… I have NO CLUE how she got to this conclusion! She was adding in the placing of blood on the door faces, which was ACTUALLY what the children of Israel had to do, when the death angel came, in the final plague for the Egyptians…

On a different car ride, Essie was telling us she had learned about Radshack, Backyak, and Indigo… (Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego) I have heard these names slaughtered so many times, but never quite like this.

I love that my children enjoy hearing God’s Word. They ask many questions and the most random times. I can’t help but wonder, “what in the world is going on in their mind to come up with that question?” There are some times, that I have no clue how to answer what they ask. Prayers for wisdom are many!

I desire for them to hide God’s word in their hearts, so that they can draw from it in times of need.

What about you? Do you have any funny stories to share of how your children interpreted the Word of God?

ByKaren

I Hope You Dance!

Everyone that knows my family personally, knows that my 5 and a half year old daughter, Essence Laine, loves to dance. She is most definitely a free spirit and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

As I sit back and watch her play with her babies, fix their hair, change their clothes, give them whoopings, and love on them, I am amazed at how much about life she has taken in. She tells me all the time, “Mommy, have you found a boyfriend for me yet? I want you to pick him out.” Of course I tell her that I haven’t found one yet, and I’ll keep looking, and when God shows him to me, I’ll tell her.

When Essie grows up, she wants to be a mermaid, a cheerleader, a dancer, and a mom. She declares that she wants 5 children. That was also my magic number, but unfortunately, I had to stop at 4. (another story for another time) She has no idea of the hardships of growing up. Her thoughts about life are still innocent. She doesn’t know that friends will come and go. That being popular, a slacker, a book worm, etc, are labels through out school. That people will be jealous of her in one way or another. Love and forgiveness is not always given. She will not be able to please everyone.

But she can know that I will always love her. That daddy will always love her. That her brothers and sister love her. And above all, God will always love her.

I have no doubt that God is going to use her. I pray that as young as she is, she will learn life’s lessons in a Godly manner. I pray that I will be able to help guide her. That her spirit will not be crushed in any way. For her to know that it’s O.K. to love the things that she does. So, Essie Laine Wilds, when you have the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance…