Tag Archive Grace

ByAngie

No More Regrets: Thoughts On Turning 33, Psalms 139, & Running

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

Psalms 139:13-14

It has been said by many that Jesus was likely 33 years of age when He died, rose from the dead, and ascended into Heaven.

I do not consider myself anywhere near the prestige of our Lord. Not by any means. But this has challenged me, and is causing me to do a lot of praying and thinking.

You see, today is my birthday. As you may have guessed, this afternoon I will turn 33. I don’t know how this is possible, because I am almost certain that I just celebrated 23, but apparently I’m “wrong” and in “denial”. Well, according to my husband, anyway.

Not A Mullet

This is something that I do not carry guilt because of. It’s not a mullet, I was only 5, and I had a really bad perm. Besides, it’s more fun to give my Mom a hard time about it.

100 years ago, I would have probably not sat and pondered every year after turning 29 about what I have done with my life up until now, and what I have to show for it. I have a very loving, faithful, caring husband. I have 5 amazing kids that constantly have me thanking God for the privilege to be their mother. Right there are 6 accomplishments, and by far the most treasured. However, in our present time, without a degree or business accomplishment I am supposed to feel like a failure. A failure for my focus being on bringing my children up to know God and loving my husband with all of my heart.

I just can’t buy into that.

I will tell you where I do feel guilt though… I have not come anywhere close to what I could have and should have done for the Kingdom. Stubborn, introverted, procrastinating me has made excuse after excuse for what should have never been given a second thought. Jesus saved the world in 33 years. Me? I can’t even remember to save leftovers some days.

Yet… He loves me. He loves me so much and I can’t even fathom why. Psalms 139:17-18 says “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;” To think of someone that much. How much He loves us. The understanding is not even in my grasp. After my years of running, denial of His existence, self-destruction, and multitudes of other sins, He still wanted me. He called for me. When I turned to run back to Him, His arms were open wide and I could hear Him holler to me, “Run faster, Angie! Run! Don’t stop! Keep going! Run!

 

My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.

Psalms 139:15-16

 

So today, I’m putting the guilt away. God did not give my mother, who was never supposed to have children, a daughter so that she could grow up and mope. God did not cause my heart to start beating both times that it stopped while my mom labored with me with the intention of me giving up years later. He has not saved my life from many illnesses, accidents, and near misses so that I could say, “Whoops, too late. I’ll just sit here and regret every dumb decision until it’s all said and done.” Nope. He sure didn’t.

Instead I’m going to start doing those things that God has told me to do. I’m going to turn my back to fear and my face to Jesus. All of those horrible things that happened before today, they are no longer excuses, regrets, or things I am ashamed of because they are testimonies to the work that the Lord has done. They are small chapters in a very long story. My senses are going to be more alert to the Spirit so that I will be aware of just what exactly it is He wants to convey to me, because otherwise it is all pointless. It is ALL for Him. My life, my family, everything.

Next year, when it’s time for 34, this shame will not overcome me again. Thank you, God, for the grace you so freely offer through your only Son. You are the God of second, and 842, chances. So get ready, Lord, because I’m still running… and it’s a lot faster than before. I will not be stopping, looking to the side, or slowing down. Show me the way. It’s time to put this free will to good use.

Grab my hand, let’s run together! Will you?

P.s. Thanks for having me, Mom! Oh, and putting up with me. Love you!

ByDanielle

I Am Thankful To God For You

I am not proud of my children.

To say I’m proud of you implies I did everything. In my house we say, “I am thankful to God for you.” For your ability to listen, play sports, do well in school, to do anything that gives God glory. In our house we try very hard to give God the glory. In our confirmation class we were discussing pride & proud. We looked up the definitions of both words.

Pride:

1. a high or inordinate opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etch.

2. the state or feeling of being proud.

3. a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one’s position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.

4. pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.

Proud:

1. feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself (often followed by of, an infinitive, or a clause).

2. having, proceeding from, or showing a high opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, or superiority.

3. having or showing self-respect or self-esteem.

Both of these words focus on me, mine, look at me, see what I did. If it were not for the grace God gave me I would be nothing. Because of Jesus’ great work on the cross, His empty grave! He has given me the ability to be a child of God, a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend. None of these I do very well. I make mistakes, I still sin, I am an imperfect person in an imperfect world.

 

I Am Thankful To God For You - Why Danielle says Thankful instead of proud and more thoughts - On Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven - RaisingStickyHands.com

 

In our home we say “I am thankful to God for you,” for giving you the ability to listen, to do your chores, to get along with your sisters, to play the piano, etc. In this our children know we have joy watching them. They also know God, His love, His grace. They know because of His deeds (His great works in the Bible) that we can trust His character.

Have a blessed day dear ones! You are Loved!!! You are Loved!!!
~ Danielle