Tag Archive Hurt

ByAngie

I Am Human: The One Where I Tell You All Just A Smidgen Of My Flaws

I’ve noticed over time, and I am guilty of this myself, that sometimes after reading a blog for awhile we all get the impression that the person behind the writing is perfect. The pictures of clean homes make us feel as though we lack at keeping our house perfect, when what we don’t know is that just a 6×6 area was cleaned just for that photo. Bloggers/ministers/EVERYONE is human. We all have flaws. And to make sure that no one has this impression of me (though I highly doubt they do) I want to share some things about myself. I never want someone to think I have it all together or that I’m preachy. I am real. Here’s the proof, and it ain’t pretty:

 

  • With Makeup

    With Makeup

    I am extremely clumsy. I bump into things, trip, drop things, spill, etc for no good reason. I don’t know quite how to explain it. I guess I’m just bad at focusing on my surroundings when I’m stressed or rushed.  For example, a week and a half ago I had my aunt and cousin over for dinner. I had spent the day trying to get my house in order, help my husband make dinner, and keeping up with the kids. I looked at the clock and realized it was almost time for them to arrive and rushed to my bedroom to get ready. When about to apply my make up, I realized my eyebrows were getting REALLY out ofhand.(A little back story, due to horrible rosacea and sensitive skin, I cannot pluck or wax. So, you know those funny little battery operated trimmers you see in

    Without makeup. See? Flaws. Ugh. It's awful. Why am I even telling you all this?

    Without makeup. See? Flaws. Ugh. It’s awful. Why am I even telling you all this?

    the check out at the discount store or on a commercial that you think, “Bizarre, who would use those?” Well, the answer is ME! I do. Those strange little trimmers are the only things that do not break out my skin. So, yes. I shave my eyebrows.) Do you see where this is going? I wasn’t focused, I was checking my phone for the time, answering a text, and could not for the life of me find the comb attachment. Next thing you know, there are chunks of my eyebrow missing. I stood there debating whether or not I should just shave them completely off or not. Tears are flowing, I have little time left to finish my make up, and in trying to “fix” it I made it worse. As if I didn’t have enough flaws that were obvious before, now I have them smack dab on my face. Thank God for eyebrow filling!!!

  • I homeschool. No, that is not a flaw. Far from it, actually. But I don’t know everything about it just because I’m a homeschool graduate and homeschool my own children. Same thing when it comes to sewing/crafting/baking/direct sales/ministry/writing/web stuff or anything else I have participated in or experienced. A lot of people have come to me at different times for different things with questions pertaining to something that I spend a lot of time with or have done. The truth is, especially with homeschooling, everyone is different and what works for me might not work for you. As you saw in the first flaw I listed, my coordination is a bit different than that of others. So the way I might use a sewing machine might be different than the way you do. I’m glad to help anyone with questions or anything else. I LOVE to talk about these things and share what I do know. But please, never consider me an expert when it comes to anything. I’m human, after all.
  • This girl has a small weak bladder. There, I said it. Anyone who has spent time with me knows this. Yes, it has gotten worse since having babies, but it’s always been this way. If I have to cough, pray to the porcelain god, or even sometimes if I just roll over, I pee. This is definitely my most embarrassing human flaw. But if you have this problem too, than you can feel better knowing I’m like you. Or think I’m gross… 😉
  • I was recently hurt. As a result I left the church I’ve been attending for years with family and friends that I’ve known my entire life. To say this was disappointing for me and others is an understatement. Some people I have known for a little time took a tiny misunderstanding and blew it up instead of coming to me with the problem. Why? I’ll never know. Immediately I recognized it was the enemy causing a wedge, but it was taken too far. As much as I try, I just can’t get past how deeply wounded I am. I feel selfish for feeling this way, but the other people feel they did nothing wrong while I was greatly shamed. I’m unable to just brush it under the rug. I pray every day over this matter. I beg God to grant me strength and understanding, to keep me from becoming bitter, and to heal my wounds. I look at other churches and read about their pastors and start crying. I want MY pastors. I love them and miss them so much. As you can see, once again, I’m human. I feel pain and experience hurt. And I have the flaw of letting my flesh get the best of me sometimes.
  • I am random, goofy, and silly. I also have a dark dry sense of humor that some people just don’t get. I am who I am. I don’t mean to be annoying. I promise.
  • My 2 oldest kids and I last summer.

    My 2 oldest kids and I last summer.

    I am a non-custodial mother to my oldest 2 children. My heart is grieved every day as I miss them so much. I was not abusive nor did I neglect them. They were not taken away from me or anything like that. How they came to live with their dad is a long story. In the past there have been people who found out and instantly judged me because it’s out of the norm for children to live with the father and not the mother. Just know that I LOVE ALL of my kids equally, and I hate that this situation is the way that it is.

  • I rarely leave my house. I just like being home. It’s comfy, my family is here, and it’s just easier with 3 little ones that were all born within 3 years to stay here in the house. Some people consider this a flaw, but I don’t. My children still have friends & socialization as we do make it out of the house sometimes or people come over. We like it here. Which brings me to my next flaw…
  • My house is rarely clean in every area all at the same time. We live here. During the day there are toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, crumbs on the table. Why? Because we are busy learning and living. The house is clean enough, but not perfect. Sometimes in pictures I post on here you’ll see a toy or box in the background on the floor. That’s just us loving life, please don’t judge. 😉
  • I live with chronic pain/fatigue/insomnia/anxiety/depression. Some days I feel great and on top of the world. Others, the exact opposite because, like today, my entire body aches and I can barely move. Sometimes being human can be such a drag, huh?
  • Last but not least, my favorite television show is Good Luck Charlie. Yes, you read that right, a kid’s show on the Disney Channel. It reminds me of the 80’s sitcoms I grew up with. Clean comedy centered around a large family in an AWESOME house. I’m weird, I know. 😉

So, there you have it. I’m not perfect. I just like to share what I DO know and encourage others to keep fighting the good fight. I pray that when you come to Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven you find other mothers that you can relate with… or even laugh at, ahem… While we are human, full of flaws, and far from perfect we can still pray, encourage, and share what we DO know. We appreciate every single one of our readers, and pray for all of you with each blog post we write. We are blessed to be a blessing. So go be blessed, blessings. 😉

 

ByAngie

Getting Back In The Groove…

Let’s face it, not everyone is called to sing in front of a crowd. I’m certainly not. If I could sing like Karen, I would be SO happy.

But I can’t.

Does this mean I shouldn’t try? No.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are a lot of people out there that could use a lot of practice but sing it out anyways… hurting the ears of everyone in a 10 block radius. (I reach about a good 5 blocks, so I figure with practice I’ll hit 4, and not hurt too many.)

I used to sing. Quite a bit, actually. Mostly in church. But in my teens, I quit. Why? Because 1 person told me I was horrible at it. People would ask me, “Angie, why don’t you sing? What about that (insert one of the titles of the songs I sang here) song you sang? Wish I could hear it again…” And I would reply, “No, I can’t sing. I’m not any good.”

I later grew up and realized I should have never listened that that 1 (ONE!) person. They were just mean for who knows what reason. Now? I’ve nearly lost the talent I once had… and may never gain it all back. With God, I know I can get back in the groove of it though… with lots of practice… In fact, I was recently asked to sing, and you know what? I’m going to do it.

What about you? Has anyone ever told you that you couldn’t sing, figuratively? Maybe it was another talent that you used for God but you had 1 person tell you that you were not good at it, or that you could never do it in the first place. Did you find your spirit broken, hurt, and unable to attain the confidence needed to do what God asked of you?

I’m encouraging you today to get back on the horse you were violently knocked off of. It’ll be a slow start, but get back in there. You’ll feel better, and most importantly God will be pleased. Do what it was God called you to do, and never listen to anyone but him. You might just be surprised!

In the mean time, I’ll be practicing my singing & piano playing… So those of you in a 10 block radius, stock up on ear plugs…

ByAngie

A “Simple” Calling: Breathing

Need help breathing? Turn to scripture...

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord!

Psalm 150:6 NKJV

How often do you find yourself breathing? Yeah, that’s what I thought. All the time, right? At least I hope… 😉 But how can breathing be a calling? Well, remember how I’ve mentioned before about being the only Bible some may ever read? I’m talking about your every day actions. The things you do without even realizing it. The words that come out of your mouth. The way you come across to others. Being human…

Sure, we all slip up from time to time. I know I certainly do. But in every action, word, thought, & breath I must remember “I never know who is watching. I would hate to cause someone else to stumble. I must be careful, because I never know… I would rather my existence LEAD someone to the Father than to cause them to run away from him.”

The Bible tells us this:

13 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.14 “You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden.15 Nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house.

16 Let your light so shine before men,  they may see your good works and  your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:13-16 NKJV

I need to be set apart. Different. Unique from the world. I have to take into account that if I act just like those who are not following Jesus, they will not see the appeal in following him. They won’t see that living the straight and narrow can bring on a happy life also… with many rewards. Hate the sin, love the sinner. Do good. Speak well. Be positive. Give all glory to God. These are phrases I tell myself to remind me.

When we start to “blend” and not let His light shine, we are causing harm to not only ourselves, but others. For example, our speech. What does it say about our heart if we are saying all the same things they are in the world?

34 Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.35 A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things.36But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.37 For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Matthew 12:34-37 NKJV

Don't do this!!!

So basically, If I walk around saying the same things that those who do not follow Christ are, how am I any different? If my heart is the same as theirs, what do they see to make them want to follow Jesus? Not much! This is so important, and something that all should take into account. If we talk like them, act like them, think like them… WE ARE THEM. And by doing this, we are not only hurting them, but ourselves… and most importantly, the One who loves us more than anyone. God is not happy when we don’t do as he says. We should never intentionally give anyone any reason to tear us down.

“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.

Matthew 7:6

Now, all that being said, we should not judge either. For that, I recommend reading the entire chapter of Matthew 7. SO important. Who wants to be a Christian when they are constantly condemned and preached at? Show LOVE! (And I certainly hope this blog post doesn’t come across as preachy either…)

Just follow your convictions, let your light shine, and do your best. Witness when possible. God will not only bless you, but also someone else!

 

ByAngie

A “Simple” Calling: The Social Networker

Just by being here reading this, you fit into this category. You are reading a blog, which is a form of social networking. Chances are you are on Facebook, Twitter, and other message boards or websites where you interact with others.

How exactly can one minister to others in this venue? The list is long and varied, but we’ll go over just a few… It’s rather similar to the “simple” calling of friendship, but slightly different.

  • When you see a friend or follower is having a bad day, let them know you’re praying for them… and then REALLY DO PRAY FOR THEM. Send them a message of encouragement! A couple days later, ask them how things are going.
  • Invite those in your area to your church. Post an invite on Saturday and ask that they message you for the address. See if they need a ride if you are capable.
  • Write a “note” about how God has blessed you and those you know lately.
  • Worship song stuck in your head? Post a link. If you’re enjoying it, chances are good someone else will also.
  • When a scripture is laid on your heart, post it. It may just be what someone else needs to read.
  • Post prayer requests for those who are in need of prayer. Get the word out that someone needs to touch God and needs a miracle. You can never have too many prayers.
  • Keep your statuses uplifting, encouraging, non-confrontational, and clear. If you feel the need to post about your bad day and are seeking support from friends from time to time, go ahead. But try to have more positive posts than negative ones. When you are angry at someone on your friends list or that is following you, try your hardest not to post a vague update that will only cause confusion. Keep confrontations private. As I said before, we may be the only Bible some people read. When you act out in anger in such a large arena you are only making yourself look silly. (I’m speaking from experience. We’ve all done it, right? Forgive me, Lord.)

It may feel as though you are not making a difference with this ministry, but I certainly guarantee that you are.

What are some other ways that you use Facebook, Twitter, or another social network as a ministry? I’d love to hear your answers!

ByAngie

How To Build Your Own Lemonade Stand Step 5: Be Positive

So, here you are. You’ve gone through all of the steps to make your lemonade & construct your lemonade stand by grieving, forgiving, accepting, and moving on. Now you have reached the point where you set up shop, practice good customer service, and make those sales.

“Huh? What are you even talking about? Stop with the metaphors or at least explain them!”

Okay, I’ll explain. Sorry.

  • Set up shop: Carry yourself in confidence. Never think that because this event happened that you are damaged or less than anyone else. Walk with your head held high and know that you are a child of God. Never walk aimlessly, have a purpose… To serve God and live according to his will.
  • Customer Service: Smile. Be positive! When someone tells you a story or something they are going through, don’t try to bring them down by putting every ounce of negativity you have on them with your words or expressions. Having a bad day? Stop and mention the positive. Remember Pollyanna? (If you don’t, watch the movie) Look on the sunny side. You might be having a bad day, but for everything you count as bad count 2 more things that you are blessed with. When you’re down, you bring everyone down around you. Don’t be that guy… (To clarify, you can feel down sometimes. Just don’t let it define you.)
  • Make The Sale: When someone says to you, “Oh wow, I can’t believe you lived through that.” feel free to say what a struggle it was. Be real, and give God the glory! You never know who you might encourage or witness to by giving all acknowledgement to Him! Don’t act like a victim, be a survivor!

(If achieving this step is just too much work, consider seeking counseling. There is no shame in asking someone for a little help. Also, depression is a very serious illness that can happen to anyone. It is not something that you can “just snap out of”. Seek help if you need it, please.)

So, what do you do now? Sit back, relax, and drink some lemonade!!!

God bless!

 

 

ByAngie

How To Build Your Own Lemonade Stand Step 4: Moving On

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spiritis in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. 13 But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light. 14 Therefore He says:

“ Awake, you who sleep,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”

Ephesians 5:8-14 NKJV

Okay, so you’ve done all that you can in the kitchen for now. It is time to grab a hammer, some nails, a couple planks of wood and head outside.

Moving on can be one of the most difficult tasks. Leaving behind something that has been consuming you for some time can be a lot of work. So, why must we move on? Why can’t we just stay where we are? Because if you sit and dwell on what has happened, you will never be happy. It is not God’s will for us to be sad or angry. There is a season for that, yes, but it does come to an end. That is why it is a season, it changes.

Now is the season where things become warm, metaphorically. You began this struggle in the late Autumn. During the Winter you grieved. Late Winter and Spring you forgave and accepted. Now, it is Summer… and people are thirsty and in need of your lemonade. Soon they may be in the late Autumn and will need to remember how wonderful Summertime was and what that Lemonade you made them tasted like.

Will you ever go back to the kitchen? Oh yes. You’re going to have to go back to get sweetener, supplies, and once in awhile you’re going to have to take in more lemons to squeeze them out. But for now, you’re building your stand and preparing for the next step which I’ll be talking about next week when we conclude this series: Setting up shop and customer service.

As tempting as it is to go back inside because the sun is so bright and the air too warm, remember God got you this far… He’ll take you even farther! And if you want to go farther, you can’t live in the past… Put on a smile and a pair of work gloves (Read your Bible and have faith), because it’s time for you to construct (pray for) your shop front (attitude)!

ByAngie

Sticky Hands: Toys And Trials Everywhere!!!

This is the "clean" part of the room. Seriously. And yes, my couches are out dated and the lamp shade is crooked. Now you see how human I truly am! Oh, and I took this photo while telling my youngest son to stop climbing on the tv stand and feeding my youngest daughter her bottle. Human? DEFINITELY!

My house is a disaster today. I mean seriously. A complete disaster. It looks as though a tornado touched down and only knocked around the toy bins. I considered making the boys pick all of the toys up, but then I decided to let them have a fun day with all their toys. We’ll clean them up, one by one, at bed time and start “clean” tomorrow.

Ever stand in the middle of a room covered in toys? So not fun. Even worse? Walking through it. Add carrying an infant through it and it becomes down right frustrating!

As I sat here looking around my living and conjoined dining room thinking of how each toy will be picked up at the end of the day and all will be okay, it hit me. This is how I should approach life.

What do I mean? Well, have you ever been completely overwhelmed? One thing after another piling up around you. You feel like you’re drowning. You have no idea how to dig out. So you try to manage it all at once, only bringing yourself down deeper.

What if I handle each situation one by one? Instead of worrying about tackling it all at once I’ll pick up one situation, wipe it off and handle it with prayer, and put it away by giving it to God! Then, I can move on to the next, and the one after that… Seems to work for my kids, why can’t it work for me?

Next time I’m standing in the midst of trials all around me, I’m going to try my kids approach. Besides, everything will be less likely to be swept under the rug only to show up again later this way. 😉

 

ByAngie

How To Build Your Own Lemonade Stand Step 3: Accept

1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up;4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance;5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away;7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NKJV

So, now that you have gone through the processes of grieving and forgiving, it is time to accept.

Definition of ACCEPT

transitive verb
3 a: to endure without protest or reaction <accept poor living conditions>
b: to regard as proper, normal, or inevitable <the idea is widely accepted>
c: to recognize as true :believe <refused to accept the explanation>

This, obviously, does not always come easily. Our flesh tells us to live in denial. Pretend it never happened. If we don’t acknowledge something, then we can pretend everything is hunky dory and just go on. Unfortunately… it doesn’t work that way. Especially with women. We bottle things way deep down inside only for it to come back up later. Sure, we can live in our make believe little world where bad things and bad days never happen for a time. However, you will inevitably have to face what you are avoiding eventually. Better sooner than later!

What do I mean by telling you to accept what happened? I mean for you to tell yourself, “This happened, and that is just the way it is. God loves me regardless and I will rely on him for mercy and blessings for all of my days.” instead of screaming and throwing a tantrum, “It’s not fair! Why is God allowing this? Why didn’t he do things differently? I want my way and I want it NOW! Waaaahhhh!” (Okay, I got a little dramatic there, but you get the picture.) I never said this would be simple… It may even be brutal. But without it, your lemonade will be bland.

Am I saying to let this event define who you are? Not at all. Will it change you? Possibly. But that could be a good thing depending on the situation. Being that we are covering many different possibilities with a general blanket here it kind of makes this part hard to touch on. Once again, in order for your lemonade to turn out sweet and tasty, you’re going to have to give up a lot of time in prayer. We are supposed to be letting God lead us on how to make his recipe, not ours. Okay, time to wash our hands and prepare for the next step….

Personal note: Before going on any further with this series, I do want to let you know I have been through some very upsetting, traumatic experiences. I’m not some bozo just sitting here saying “Chin up” without an experience myself. I know that EVERYTHING I am telling you is easier said than done. Like I said, depend a lot on prayer and our Savior… He’s the only way to truly make it through!

ByAngie

How To Build Your Own Lemonade Stand Step 2: Forgive

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV

Last week I wrote on grieving. Sometimes, once we have completed that step we realize we need to forgive in order to be able to move on.

I can not stress enough how important this step is. If you simply skip over it, your lemonade will be VERY bitter!

Forgiveness is rarely easy to just hand out. It can be a struggle to let go of anger and hurt that is rightfully felt. Especially if the forgiveness needs to be given to someone who does not care, denies their fault, is unknown, clueless of their action, or did something unbearably horrible.

Something equally difficult is forgiving ourselves. It is often said that we are our own worst critics. Isn’t that the truth? I don’t know anyone who is as hard on me as I am on myself.

Regardless, we are required to forgive if we want to be forgiven. What all does this entail? Well, let’s look at the definition from Webster’s:

Definition of FORGIVE

transitive verb

1a: to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult> b: to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>
2: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) :pardon <forgive one’s enemies>

Do you have to be friends with the person and act like nothing ever happened? Absolutely not! But forgive and move on? Yes.

Easier said than done, right? It usually takes quite a chunk of prayer time to be able to achieve this step. As with all things in life, pray for God to help you. Pray for guidance. Pray for forgiveness from Him. But I guarantee that once you do reach that point, you will feel so much better. Then, you can move right along with making that lemonade!

ByDiania

What’s On My Heart

I simply want to sit down and tell you everything in my life is wonderful, but to do that would be a lie. I feel as tho I am going thru transitions that scare me, ones I can’t control and am not even sure I want to try.

Being the oldest of our four writers you would think I would have a little more insight on how to handle life. But, like everyone else, I stand back fighting depression and decisions that weigh heavy on my heart every day. I know my God won’t put on me more then I can handle, but where exactly is that point, when does one break, or is it even an option?

A couple weeks ago I was talking with an old friend who had a mental break down and had been in the hospital. She seemed a little reluctant to tell me she had a nervous breakdown. I could see the embarrassment in her eyes. Then I started to tell her that a nervous break down is actually just a break thru, and now she could breathe a lot easier because God has lifted the burden and pain from her. I watched as her eyes began to shine, and as she set there for a while I could see her thinking. A few minutes later she began to thank me and said that was a wonderful way to look at it. She seemed to be relieved as I explained to her that she would be able to go on now and leave those burdens completely behind her. When I left her I knew God put me there for a reason. His child was hurting and I left knowing He had used me to help her heal…

So in the mean time I can’t help but wonder just where I will be and who God may use to help me thru what ever it is that holds me from surrendering and breaking thru myself. After all, going thru means I gotta come out on the other end. Your prayers are most welcome..

Love,