I was going to write you a poem to tell you how proud i am of you, but i thought you deserved better. From the day you were born you have been my joy, I could not be more proud of you than I am today; To see the work that God has done in you and how he has blessed your life makes me so proud to call you my daughter. I can sit back today and tell you how much I love my nieces but when God gave me a daughter he gave me his very best. There is nothing about you that I would change. From the first time I held you in my arms you had stolen my heart, and as I sit here today I can honestly say you still hold it in your hands. I could pray for God to send you home but then I would only be interfering with His plan for your life, and that is not something I want to hinder. Instead I will choose to sit back and watch the work in your life unfold. Your obedience to God’s word will always keep you blessed. I use to worry about you but I know God has put His angels in charge over you. I know when I close my eyes at night that His eyes are on you and you are going to be just fine.I want you to know that the distance between us will never change how much I love you and how proud I am of you. Nothing you do or accomplish goes unnoticed. My eyes are still on you just like they were when you were first born.and they still look at you with amazement. I AM ALWAYS IN AWE OF WHAT GOD MAY HAVE PLANNED FOR YOU. Sometimes I think you are the only thing i did right in my life, so what ever it is you are doing please don’t stop. Remember where God has pulled you from and build on that. And always remember that you are my daughter, my joy and I wouldn’t change that for anything in the world!
Love you forever
Originally written by Diania on September 17, 2010
As I sit back and watch her play with her babies, fix their hair, change their clothes, give them whoopings, and love on them, I am amazed at how much about life she has taken in. She tells me all the time, “Mommy, have you found a boyfriend for me yet? I want you to pick him out.” Of course I tell her that I haven’t found one yet, and I’ll keep looking, and when God shows him to me, I’ll tell her.
When Essie grows up, she wants to be a mermaid, a cheerleader, a dancer, and a mom. She declares that she wants 5 children. That was also my magic number, but unfortunately, I had to stop at 4. (another story for another time) She has no idea of the hardships of growing up. Her thoughts about life are still innocent. She doesn’t know that friends will come and go. That being popular, a slacker, a book worm, etc, are labels through out school. That people will be jealous of her in one way or another. Love and forgiveness is not always given. She will not be able to please everyone.
I have no doubt that God is going to use her. I pray that as young as she is, she will learn life’s lessons in a Godly manner. I pray that I will be able to help guide her. That her spirit will not be crushed in any way. For her to know that it’s O.K. to love the things that she does. So, Essie Laine Wilds, when you have the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance…
Every few months or so we have what we call a “Young at Heart” night at church where anyone that wants to come can show up to eat, fellowship, and play games. Our last event doubled as a surprise 40th birthday party for my sister-in-law, who got to celebrate with a cake that had black icing. This black icing was extremely messy. So my mother-in-law, also known as my pastor’s wife, decided to have fun with it. She smeared the black icing around her lips and began to let everyone see. As she headed toward our table, Naomi (my 3-year-old) said to her nana, “What the hell is that on your face?!”
We were all in shock. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I was torn between the two thoughts of “Oh my gosh, I cannot believe my daughter just said that,” and “OH. MY. GOSH. I canNOT believe my daughter just said that!!!!!” Naomi, however, had no idea that what she said was in any way wrong.
I kept thinking, “Where in the world did she hear that??” No one in our family uses that kind of language. No one she is around uses that kind of language. Then I thought to myself, “Surely she hasn’t heard it from tv enough to say it….surely not.”
A week or so later brought along another curse word. I was flabbergasted. I finally realized that she had to have heard it from tv because NO one in our family uses those words. Then I kept thinking, “Are the shows we watch really that bad?” Many of times I watch entire episodes of shows and never hear anything bad. Why? Because I don’t pay attention. After Naomi’s own two “episodes,” I became very aware of every word said on whatever we were watching- especially when she was in the room. I found myself saying, “Naomi, don’t say that,” or “You can’t say that word,” or just turning the channel because it was all just inappropriate.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not knocking tv. But I’ve learned from experience and chatter with other moms that we tend to overlook things of this world and let them in our home without realizing it. It then interferes with the upbringing of our children and we’ll more than likely pay for it in a later situation. I decided I was going to start paying close attention to the things in my everyday life and since then, I’ve noticed a closer relationship with God…..and less tv. Not only has it made a difference in my life, but also in the lives of my kids. And let me just say, I do not miss it as much as I thought I would.
When you have a true anointing, Satan will try EVERYTHING that he can, to stop your ministry from flowing! You are a huge threat to him. I know that he has thrown lots of things my way to shut me up. I’ve allowed him to stop my ministry so that others can do what they are called to do, without me being in the way. Not that I’m this great, awesome singer or anything, it’s just when God places a calling on you, it is without question. I have lived by the motto: “I’d rather sit back in defeat because God has not called me to compete!” Many Christians in today’s society, have turned ministry, of every kind, into a competition of sorts. That is definitely NOT God’s will. That is another reason why ‘many are called, but few are chosen.’
We are supposed to be ONE body. To work together for the salvation of souls, not to put on one man shows or performances for mans benifit. When you ‘minister’ for someone to hear you or see you, you may need to do a heart check.
I’ve had to ask God’s forgiveness for letting foolish things block His flow in me. On the other hand, I don’t want to come across uncaring or hurt others feelings. I don’t want ANYONE to feel the pain that I have endured over the past year and a half. When you are not allowing Holy Spirit to work in you, it causes pain physically, mentally, and spiritually. It caused friendships to be ruined. Unhappiness in your heart because satan has stolen your joy. Bitterness because others are getting to do YOUR hearts desire.
The Bible tells us in 2 Timothy 1:6,
“Wherefore I put thee in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God, which is in thee by the putting on of my hands.”
Remember the gift that God has placed in your spirit. Don’t sit on it, for time is short. I am preaching to myself. I had to eat this before I could feed it to the public.
I know Who has called me and I will do my best for His benefit. My desire is to be pleasing to God and to spread His word. Be blessed and allow God to flow through you.
Sis. Judye Jackson, a very gifted teacher, spoke at church on “Family Trees” and about the legacy we leave behind. This got me thinking- my life is a direct influence on the lives of my children. Whether I realize it or not, they pay attention to everything I say or do. This sort of worries me.
See, I have a habit of looking at my very attractive husband and telling him that he is sexy. Why? Because he is and I am madly in love with him. The next thing I know, I’m driving down the road when I hear my three-year-old daughter, Naomi, say, “Mommy, Daddy’s sexy, ain’t he?” Extreme heat crept from my neck into my cheeks. Yes, I do believe my husband is sexy, but do I want my three-year-old to share that information? Umm…no!
Then there are the moments I live for- she sets an example and makes me proud. As I’m babysitting for a friend, her little girl says, “Oh my God.” I’m not on my soap box or anything, but I teach my children not to say that. Naomi looks at her friend, and in her best serious voice says, “We’re not supposed to say that.” Her friend says, “I’m trying to stop,” and they continue to play. You would have thought the forbidden phrase contained curse words.
I’ve learned that in the process of raising my kids, they notice everything. This means that they see in me the good, the bad and the ugly. When I’m mad and frustrated and I want to rip my hair out, they see. When I’m praising through the battle and giving God the glory no matter what, they see.
I wonder if my children will start conversations with my future grandchildren with the phrase, “My Mom always said…..” And I wonder– if they use that phrase, what will they say that I said?