Tag Archive Non-custodial mother

ByAngie

Let’s Chat! 2 NEW Facebook Groups From RSHTH

Over the last few years, I have joined more than a few Facebook groups.

I am in Facebook groups for homeschooling, sewing, chronic illness, alumni of schools I attended… the list goes on and on.

 

Come join us on Facebook!
All of these groups are great, but I have often thought that I wish there was a group for Christian women everywhere. Where we can lift each other up and chat. A place where someone could post a prayer request and know that those who saw the request would be reaching Heaven in prayer for them.

I also wanted another type of group. An online support group for non-custodial moms where we can talk about the challenges that only we know.

It was actually part of my original plan in establishing Raising Sticky Hands to Heaven to create a community, but for some odd reason I didn’t feel “good enough” to do this. I finally realized that I needed to just create the groups, and this week I did.

Would you like to join us?

CLICK HERE to join RSHTH Christian Women’s Facebook Community.

You can find our RSHTH Non-Custodial Moms group by CLICKING HERE.

Simply click “JOIN” and we will approve your request as soon as we are able.

Hope to fellowship online with you soon!

ByAngie

Life As A Non-Custodial Mom: When Goodbyes Feel Like Sawing Limbs

Two weeks ago today, I put my oldest daughter on a plane to return home to her dad. That morning, I put the following as my Facebook status.

When Tommy was born, he was very sick. When it was time for me to be discharged from the hospital one of my doctors came to see me in the NICU, as I was only in my room when I was not allowed at his bedside. She told me that while I would be back in 3 hours, leaving him would feel like I was cutting my own arm off with a saw and leaving it at the hospital as I returned home.

She was right.

But what I didn’t realize that day was that a few months later my older 2 kids would be moving away against my wishes and that it would be her words that got me through every departure.

Just because it feels like my arm is missing, it is not. Just because my heart aches and my arms are empty, I am still a mother. Even though this hurts so very much and I want to collapse, I have children that need me to go on. God will strengthen me, and I can do the goodbyes and pretending to be strong even when I am not. I will do it again in 3 weeks when the other leaves. I will continue the distracting for the entire family the next 46 weeks and all the many cries from younger siblings to “please just bring them back” when I wish I could.

My arm is still here. I am still their mom. I will (try to) stay strong, and in June these arms and my heart will be full again. But today, I’m crying. A lot.

How we cope.

A week from today, my oldest son will be heading home. (He came down a little later than his sister.) The shock that August is really here already is not settling well in our home. We all feel as though the anticipation for summer was just a few days ago. I keep asking my husband to slow down time or reverse it, as if he had the ability. Time flies when you’re having fun.

I have learned over the last few years just what to expect in the coming weeks: All of us will cry. There will be a lot of prayer and hugging. Some of us will be cranky for a few days. Johnny Ben, my son with severe autism, will walk about the house looking for his brother and sister. He will want to sleep where they slept for a while. (He’s been sleeping in his big sister’s spot since she left.) We will look through photos and videos while we reminisce. Almost immediately we will begin a countdown to next summer.

Life As A Non-Custodial Mom: When Goodbyes Feel Like Sawing Limbs - Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven

I will distract… and I will distract my family as much as possible. It’s not that we are not coping with our feelings. It is that this is how our life is, and it can be really painful. So to lessen the stinging and gnawing pain, we have to look away for a bit sometimes. Kinda like how someone might look away when getting a shot of antibiotics. We will talk to the kids in another state on the phone and in messages and we will discuss the situation we are in. But staying busy at the end of summer, I have found, has been the answer to rationing the tears. We will dive into a new year of homeschooling, go on a few fun adventures, I will attempt some craft and sewing projects, we’ll have a few long movie nights, science projects, and, hopefully, a lot of laughter.

It still hurts. We still feel a deep emptiness. We talk about our feelings very openly and pray together. But staying busy is better than wallowing in misery and allowing the pain to suck every bit of joy out of our lives. I may be a non-custodial mother to two of my children, but that does not mean that I have to walk around crying every minute of every day.

How it feels.

I don’t expect anyone who has not been in my shoes to understand how this feels. I do know that just as much as homeschooling parents are tired of the “Oh, I could never do that.” comments, I’m tired of hearing about it in reference to not seeing my children every day. I’m not stronger than anyone. I’m not a fragile mess because my kids are not with me either. This is not something that while I held my two oldest babies for the first time that I thought would ever happen. But it did, and I somehow managed to miraculously survive those first few years. I would never wish it on my worst enemy.

Life As A Non-Custodial Mom: When Goodbyes Feel Like Sawing Limbs - Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven

I do know that I am blessed to still have them at all. How can I complain when mothers on the other side of the planet are burying their children because of famine or faith?

There have been times I have not handled these situations the best way, and I will be the first to admit that. Thankfully, God finally got through my hard head and I realized the best way to deal with my feelings.

How I apply scripture. (God knew exactly what I was going to need before I ever knew it!)

During my Jr. High and High School years, I became fascinated with Philippians 4. I read it over and over. Judye even placed a plaque with Philippians 4:13 over my desk when I was her pupil in High School and it was drilled into my heart. Years later, I understood why. The first time I felt any kind of peace was when I had said to someone that I just didn’t know if I could be strong enough for this. Without even thinking, in the next breath I stated Philippians 4:13, which has been my favorite scripture for many years.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13

Whenever I feel like I just can’t do this again, I remember that Christ has me in the palm of His hand and He will give me the strength I need.

I remember that God knows how it feels to have to let go of a child for a time and wait for their return.

There is no one that can relate to my heart like He can. No one.

That is where I find my peace, in Christ.

I take the pain that could do me in and instead of self-destructing I use the creativity God has given me and I recycle the darkness into some, um, interesting creations. Ha! Okay, some of them are pretty good. Others? Well, let’s just say that a good friend and I have a running joke about my attempts at cake pops. I could fill a whole other website with all of my Pinterest fails. But hey, even they bring laughter. 😉 Laughter is good!

Life As A Non-Custodial Mom: When Goodbyes Feel Like Sawing Limbs - Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven

My son and my dad singing together in church while I play the piano… something we have talked about for years but finally did this summer.

If you are a non-custodial parent reading this, I pray that God would comfort your heart. That He would calm your spirit and help you to cope in a way better than anything else can offer. There are healthy ways to handle the pain, and there are the options that sometimes may just seem easier. Remember that even when your children are not with you, they still need you. They need you to be healthy and whole physically, mentally, and spiritually. When you feel like collapsing, reach out to Jesus and let Him hold you. I have learned that He’s always there and will always catch you if you let Him. Feel free to leave a comment below if you would like us to pray for you.

ByAngie

Songs To Get Your Soul AMPED Up For Easter (Day 4: Songs 31-40)

Thursday already? Easter Sunday is quickly approaching! No, we still haven’t made plans for the day other than church. It’s been an unexpectedly busy week.

As I sat down to write this last night, I found out that my oldest daughter was taken to the ER and admitted for appendicitis. Thank God her appendix did not rupture! Not being able to be with her is… I actually can’t find the words to describe it. It hurts! But I know that God is in control, and thanks to the precious blood of Jesus she can have a fast recovery.

So it kinda took me a couple of hours to get myself calmed down and start typing. All I can think of is how thankful I am that the Lord keeps His hand on my family. We’ve had one big blow after the other this week, but I know that God will see us through. I know He will do the same for you as well.

He is more than worthy of our praise!

 

Songs To Get Your Soul AMPED Up For Easter - Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven

 

Here are the links to catch up with days 1-3 if you would like to do so:

Songs To Get Your Soul AMPED Up For Easter (Day 1: Songs 1-10)

Songs To Get Your Soul AMPED Up For Easter (Day 2: Songs 11-20)

Songs To Get Your Soul AMPED Up For Easter (Day 3: Songs 21-30)

 

31: Seas of Crimson – Brian Johnson

 

32: Shout It Out – Vertical Church Band

 

33: Happy Day – Jesus Culture
LOVE this song!

 

34: It Was Finished – Bryan & Katie Torwalt

 

35: Scandal of Grace – Hillsong UNITED

 

36: The Anthem – Planetshakers

 

37: Christ Is Risen – Matt Maher

 

38: Worthy Is The Lamb – Hillsong

 

39: We Believe – Newsboys

 

40: Forever – Kari Jobe

That concludes day 4 of our Easter music series.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for

MORE!

 

ByAngie

Life As A Non-Custodial Mom: Learning To Get Along With The Custodial Parent

I don’t want to be a hypocrite, so I’m going to be upfront and tell you right off the bat that getting along with my ex is something that takes a lot of work from me. Even after 10 years, I still make mistakes and have to tell myself to calm down and shut up at times. There is nothing about being a non-custodial mom that is easy, but this is one of the most difficult things that comes along with not having my children in my care.

 

Life as a non-custodial mom - Learning to get along with the custodial parent - Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven - photo credit Jean Scheijen

Boxing Gloves photo credit Jean Scheijen

 

Maybe your children are not with your ex, but with a family member or someone else. Even so, there are always emotions, assumptions, and accusations flying around. Everyone believes that they know more than the other one and no one wants to back off or (GASP!) admit that they could be wrong. All of these things need to be reined into control and dealt with, because as long as they are able to run wild our children will be living on the frontline of a battlefield where they are unfairly placed.

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As I said above, the first problem that comes with learning to get along with the custodial parent is that of emotions. We miss our children, we usually have a history with the person caring for our children, the people raising our children might be doing so in a way different from we would, and the list goes on and on…

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When I finally had a light bulb go off in my head causing me to realize that how I interact with my children’s father has an impact on my children, whether they know about our interactions or not, I was able to bring myself into grasp of reality more than I ever had. Oh sure, I had been saying for years that we were a team, co-parenting, and we’ll always have to deal with each other, but I never actually realized that even what my kids do not know about has an effect on them. They can sense tension and know more than we give them credit for.  Once again, I admit that a few months ago I got rather emotional and did not handle a situation the way that I should have, but usually I try to shut off emotions and only deal with facts when discussing matters about my children with their father.

<a href=Isaiah 59:19" width="300" height="300" srcset="http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Isaiah-5919-300x300.jpg 300w, http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Isaiah-5919-150x150.jpg 150w, http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Isaiah-5919.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

Assumptions can be so damaging, and we all know the phrase about assumptions… even if it is gross… It was during a phone conversation with my ex-husband (rare, as we agreed many years ago that talking on the phone is not a good thing for us to do… instead most of our contact if via text or email.) that as I was repeating over and over that I am not the person I was when I was married to him and to stop assuming so that it dawned on me that he is not that same person either. Why had I always thought that I could change and he could not? If we sit and just jump to conclusions as to what the other person’s intentions or thoughts are, things will never change. It is not the fault of our children that things are the way they are now, so why must we constantly treat the situation as though it is about the parents and not the kids? Any interaction you have with the custodial parent is about your child and no one else. Not even you. Treat it that way, and trust me, everyone will be a lot happier. Even if you are the only one acting appropriately.

<a href=Philippians 4:8" width="300" height="300" srcset="http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Philippians-48-300x300.jpg 300w, http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Philippians-48-150x150.jpg 150w, http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Philippians-48.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

There are also times that we should just not even entertain the conversation. If talking to the custodial party that day is not going to have any benefit, then end it. A few months ago I was messaging with a friend who is new to being a non-custodial parent on Facebook. He said the best advice I gave him was, you won’t come out on top of this unless you take it breath by breath… Warriors wouldn’t be respected were it not for the battle. Know when to stop and bandage your wounds and when to fight. When you second guess, pray. Being a non-custodial parent has been the worst thing to happen to me. I know it is for you too.” The only thing I would change about what I wrote to him is that I always try to remember to pray before any interaction with my ex.  Sometimes it catches me off guard, and being that I am human I fly off the seat of my pants and things get messy really fast. Don’t do that, trust me. It never ends well.

<a href=2 Timothy 1:7" width="300" height="300" srcset="http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2-Timothy-17-300x300.jpg 300w, http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2-Timothy-17-150x150.jpg 150w, http://raisingstickyhands.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/2-Timothy-17.jpg 500w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />

More important than anything I’ve written above is keeping in tune with Jesus. As long as I’m close to Him, I am able to keep a better reign on all of those emotions, assumptions, and everything else involved. When I spend time daily in prayer, and pray FOR my ex and his happiness, things go much smoother. Staying in the Word and repeating scripture when upset makes a world of difference. I remind myself that satan is the author of confusion and that he would love nothing more than to cause more anguish for the family that he was already allowed to rip apart, to see me fall, and to have my children’s wounds rubbed with salt. Some scriptures that help me in these situations are Ephesians 6:12, 2 Corinthians 10: 3-6, Isaiah 59:19, Philippians 4:8, and 2 Timothy 1:7 among many others. If it would help you, put these scriptures or others on index cards and place them in an area that can be of help in times of stress.

Are you having a difficult time as a non-custodial mom? Do you have a hard time getting along with your ex and/or the custodial party? Do you have a tip or advice to share with those in the same shoes? Feel free to comment below!

ByAngie

Life As A Non-Custodial Mom

Today is the day! After many long months of wait, the day has finally arrived for my 2 oldest children to visit for their summer break. While I love Christmas, summertime is truly the most wonderful time of the year for me. (I guarantee that I will even sing that line a few times today.) Today is my Christmas, and at the first sight of those kids I will feel like a 6-year-old girl waking up to the gifts under the tree and dashing for them.

 

Obviously, every other day between August and June is not like this. When they first leave the house is too quiet. The younger kids cry a lot, as do I. My husband even has a difficult time as he loves those kids just like he does his 3 biological children. Holidays never seem right. When the kid’s birthdays come and go my heart breaks in two all over again. There are times that they are sick and I don’t know until after and feel terrible… Or they call me while sick and I can’t do anything. I worry when I don’t find out about something until after the fact, where their morals lie, when I go a week without hearing from them, if they’re needing someone to make them smile, etc. It’s not that I think their dad and stepmom don’t love them or care for them, because I know they do. It’s that when they leave and are not with me it is as if someone has cut off half of my limbs and a huge part of my heart yet I live and have to deal with every bit of the pain.

 

Life as a Non-Custodial Mom (or Dad) at Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven

 

Being that it is becoming more and more common for mothers to not hold physical custody of their children, I’ve finally felt that it is time to be public with how I manage the pain. Notice I said manage, not numb or deaden. That is impossible. Believe me, I’ve tried it different ways, and it was not a pretty site. It only made things worse.

While writing this I have realized that there is far too much that I would like to share in order for this to be a single post, so I will be making it a series. As I mentioned at the top of this post, my children are visiting, so I am not sure if there will be an exact pattern to when each post in this series will go up nor am I sure that it will ever end. This is a day-to-day process, and I am occasionally surprised with a new aspect to this way of life.

Before I end today’s portion though, I want to say something VERY important:

Non-custodial mothers, and fathers for that matter, are not always deadbeats and/or abusive parents. Sometimes life situations make it so that it is more accommodating, affordable, or the child’s preference to live with one parent over the other. I even know a few parents whose children are not theirs by blood but were stepchildren in a previous marriage that they love as their own. There are many reasons why a child might live with one parent instead of another, and society needs to stop turning their nose up at those who do not have their children all the time.

What I’m trying to say is this: Not all of us have our children ripped out of our arms and dragged out of our homes by CPS for neglect because the mom was so high she couldn’t care for her children. Even so, some moms (and dads) who have been in those situations have turned their lives around, have regrets, and it is too late to move the children or they simply cannot afford to go to court to get their children back. Are all non-custodial parents this way? No. But with the high rate of divorce these days, it is to be expected that many children of divorced parents live with one parent more than the other.

Not having our children with us does not mean that we don’t love them, or love them less than the children that do live with us. Being a non-custodial parent does not mean that our children are out of sight and out of mind. It means that we are missing out on all the little things and that an extension of our hearts are walking around and we feel lost without it there… trying to make the best that we can of every day.

 

Are you a non-custodial parent?

What do you feel people often incorrectly assume about your parenting situation?

Comment below!

 

 

ByAngie

A Letter To My Kids – So They Never Forget

As I am writing this, it is nearly 2 am. Up until about 30 minutes ago I was in bed reading when I heard one of my kids wake up and shuffle around his room. Upon checking to see what was going on,  I found that Tommy, my middle son, had a nightmare and was trying to settle himself back down. Seeing that he needed some comforting, I invited him to come into the living room. He seemed to already know what he needed to soothe him: for me to pray for him, his favorite Pandora station that we have customized over the years to play Rockabye Baby and instrumental hymns, and to lay in my specific spot on the couch.

Just as Tommy was all settled in and I had turned off all the lights he pointed over to my laptop. “Mom, why is your laptop over there? Aren’t you going to write a blog while we are up?” I assumed he was procrastinating falling asleep, so I asked him, “No, what would I write about?” When he replied it was deep. Okay, well, it was deep for a 6-year-old. “I want you to write a blog with a picture of me with you, Jeffrey, Becca, Johnny Ben, and Molly and a picture of you and dad.  Then you can write about how much you and dad love us and how much you love dad, because someday I’ll read a lot and want to read it when I am a grown up.”

I was so caught off guard. I expected him to tell me about his efforts to tell The Joker about Jesus so he won’t be an arch-villain any more. (Yes, that is really a frequent topic of his.) I did not expect him to mention something so emotional and actually relevant. (Dear Mr. Future Tommy, I’m sorry for assuming you wouldn’t be relevant. But you were 6. Someday you’ll have a 6-year-old and know what I mean. Forgive me. Love always, Mrs. Mom From The Past) I promised him I would do so, but a few moments later after he fell asleep I decided to go ahead and do it now.

Why now? In the last few years I have made a lot of to do lists. Most of the items listed on those lists have never been crossed off. I do have good reason for some of that, but I really don’t care why I can’t do this that and the other any more. I’ve been in the process of reorganizing my life and re-prioritizing. (I’ll write more about that another day…) When it comes to my kids, I no longer want to put anything on the back burner if it can be done now.

So Tommy, and my other 4 children, this one is for you…

 

Just my kids and me

Just my kiddos and me – Summer 2013

 

 

Dear Kids,

I could never explain how much I love each of you. You guys are probably so sick of me telling you all the time, but it is true. (Okay, apparently Tommy isn’t tired of it…) These aren’t just words that I have to say nor am I making small talk. You may get tired of me stopping you to give you a hug, sending you a goofy text that ends with an “I love you” in all caps and tons of exclamation points, or saying it out of the clear blue. But I mean every word and I want to be clear to you that I do, with all of my heart, love you.

All 5 of you know how far from perfect I am and how I wish that some things had happened differently. I regret every mistake I have made that has caused you any pain. I’m sorry that because of my past mistakes we are all split in half across the country from each other. I wish that Tommy, Johnny Ben, and Molly could have grown up with Jeffrey and Becca and that you all would see each other every day. I hate that I don’t see all 5 of you on a daily basis. That does NOT mean that I love any of you more than another though. My feelings for each of you are equal. Just remember, we have had some amazing summers as a family. We have inside jokes, hobbies, and many memories that have come out of those times together. Others may think we are weird, but that’s okay. Embrace it. This is how God made us to be, a big silly family full of inside jokes,  and we are happy.

At the same time, because I care so deeply for you, I will not let you just do everything you want. We have rules, consequences, and lots of talks (that you all roll your eyes at… Don’t think I don’t notice…) because I want you to have successful lives and relationships, now and when you are grown. I want you to know right from wrong, good manners, and most of all how much Jesus loves you and wants to be a part of your lives. There are times that you will be angry with me, but I will not apologize for doing my job as your mom.

Not only am I thankful to have you as my children, but I’m thankful that you all have each other as siblings. Even with the age and distance gaps, you all get along more than many other brothers and sisters I know. You all amaze me and bless me so much in many ways, but this is one area that I am extremely blessed. You may bicker and argue occasionally, but when it comes down to what matters, you all look out for and help each other. That’s awesome, thank you!

You may not see how it is possible now, but each of you have taught me so much. Whether it be how to have patience in a hospital with an unforeseen circumstance only to see God work a miracle in His time, how to pour tea like a princess, the name of a little known character in Star Wars, understanding more about the neural system, or something academic. You inspire me to better myself. Each of you blow me away with your wisdom. Yes, even Molly, who at the time of my writing this is 2. You’re all going to do great things. I know it.

It is no secret how much I love your Dad, Bobby. While we all know that Jeffrey and Becca have a different biological father that loves them as well, we were blessed when Bobby came along. He loved you both as if you had always been his and still does. You should know that he has not once referred to you as “step-children” and always as “my son and daughter”. I’m pretty crazy about that man, and he loves all of us very much as well. Even more than Cadillacs, Twinkies, and Coca Cola.

As I bring this to an end, I want to remind you that nothing in this world will ever compare to the love of Jesus. Never give up on Him, because He will never give up on you. Each of you know of times in your lives that He stepped in and touched you with healing or resolve. Never forget what He has done, and thank Him every day. I thank God every day for the privilege of being your Mom. I would go through every one of those pregnancies, labors, sleepless nights, and rough days again in a heartbeat if given the chance. Bobby and all of you are the best thing that ever happened to me outside of salvation. One more time:

I love you, Kids!!!

Love,

Mom

P.S. Tommy, thank you for asking me to write this. It’s not just for you, I needed it as well.

P.P.S. Are there flying cars? Did you guys ever talk me into going back to blonde? Write back your “past mom” and let me know about the future, ‘kay?

 

 

Mom and Dad, sans kids

Just Bobby and Me – Summer 2010

 

If you read through all that and have made it down to the bottom of this post, I urge you to write a letter to your children to read some day. Not only will they be grateful that you did, but you will as well.

 

Happy Mother’s Day

 

ByAngie

I Am Human: The One Where I Tell You All Just A Smidgen Of My Flaws

I’ve noticed over time, and I am guilty of this myself, that sometimes after reading a blog for awhile we all get the impression that the person behind the writing is perfect. The pictures of clean homes make us feel as though we lack at keeping our house perfect, when what we don’t know is that just a 6×6 area was cleaned just for that photo. Bloggers/ministers/EVERYONE is human. We all have flaws. And to make sure that no one has this impression of me (though I highly doubt they do) I want to share some things about myself. I never want someone to think I have it all together or that I’m preachy. I am real. Here’s the proof, and it ain’t pretty:

 

  • With Makeup

    With Makeup

    I am extremely clumsy. I bump into things, trip, drop things, spill, etc for no good reason. I don’t know quite how to explain it. I guess I’m just bad at focusing on my surroundings when I’m stressed or rushed.  For example, a week and a half ago I had my aunt and cousin over for dinner. I had spent the day trying to get my house in order, help my husband make dinner, and keeping up with the kids. I looked at the clock and realized it was almost time for them to arrive and rushed to my bedroom to get ready. When about to apply my make up, I realized my eyebrows were getting REALLY out ofhand.(A little back story, due to horrible rosacea and sensitive skin, I cannot pluck or wax. So, you know those funny little battery operated trimmers you see in

    Without makeup. See? Flaws. Ugh. It's awful. Why am I even telling you all this?

    Without makeup. See? Flaws. Ugh. It’s awful. Why am I even telling you all this?

    the check out at the discount store or on a commercial that you think, “Bizarre, who would use those?” Well, the answer is ME! I do. Those strange little trimmers are the only things that do not break out my skin. So, yes. I shave my eyebrows.) Do you see where this is going? I wasn’t focused, I was checking my phone for the time, answering a text, and could not for the life of me find the comb attachment. Next thing you know, there are chunks of my eyebrow missing. I stood there debating whether or not I should just shave them completely off or not. Tears are flowing, I have little time left to finish my make up, and in trying to “fix” it I made it worse. As if I didn’t have enough flaws that were obvious before, now I have them smack dab on my face. Thank God for eyebrow filling!!!

  • I homeschool. No, that is not a flaw. Far from it, actually. But I don’t know everything about it just because I’m a homeschool graduate and homeschool my own children. Same thing when it comes to sewing/crafting/baking/direct sales/ministry/writing/web stuff or anything else I have participated in or experienced. A lot of people have come to me at different times for different things with questions pertaining to something that I spend a lot of time with or have done. The truth is, especially with homeschooling, everyone is different and what works for me might not work for you. As you saw in the first flaw I listed, my coordination is a bit different than that of others. So the way I might use a sewing machine might be different than the way you do. I’m glad to help anyone with questions or anything else. I LOVE to talk about these things and share what I do know. But please, never consider me an expert when it comes to anything. I’m human, after all.
  • This girl has a small weak bladder. There, I said it. Anyone who has spent time with me knows this. Yes, it has gotten worse since having babies, but it’s always been this way. If I have to cough, pray to the porcelain god, or even sometimes if I just roll over, I pee. This is definitely my most embarrassing human flaw. But if you have this problem too, than you can feel better knowing I’m like you. Or think I’m gross… 😉
  • I was recently hurt. As a result I left the church I’ve been attending for years with family and friends that I’ve known my entire life. To say this was disappointing for me and others is an understatement. Some people I have known for a little time took a tiny misunderstanding and blew it up instead of coming to me with the problem. Why? I’ll never know. Immediately I recognized it was the enemy causing a wedge, but it was taken too far. As much as I try, I just can’t get past how deeply wounded I am. I feel selfish for feeling this way, but the other people feel they did nothing wrong while I was greatly shamed. I’m unable to just brush it under the rug. I pray every day over this matter. I beg God to grant me strength and understanding, to keep me from becoming bitter, and to heal my wounds. I look at other churches and read about their pastors and start crying. I want MY pastors. I love them and miss them so much. As you can see, once again, I’m human. I feel pain and experience hurt. And I have the flaw of letting my flesh get the best of me sometimes.
  • I am random, goofy, and silly. I also have a dark dry sense of humor that some people just don’t get. I am who I am. I don’t mean to be annoying. I promise.
  • My 2 oldest kids and I last summer.

    My 2 oldest kids and I last summer.

    I am a non-custodial mother to my oldest 2 children. My heart is grieved every day as I miss them so much. I was not abusive nor did I neglect them. They were not taken away from me or anything like that. How they came to live with their dad is a long story. In the past there have been people who found out and instantly judged me because it’s out of the norm for children to live with the father and not the mother. Just know that I LOVE ALL of my kids equally, and I hate that this situation is the way that it is.

  • I rarely leave my house. I just like being home. It’s comfy, my family is here, and it’s just easier with 3 little ones that were all born within 3 years to stay here in the house. Some people consider this a flaw, but I don’t. My children still have friends & socialization as we do make it out of the house sometimes or people come over. We like it here. Which brings me to my next flaw…
  • My house is rarely clean in every area all at the same time. We live here. During the day there are toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, crumbs on the table. Why? Because we are busy learning and living. The house is clean enough, but not perfect. Sometimes in pictures I post on here you’ll see a toy or box in the background on the floor. That’s just us loving life, please don’t judge. 😉
  • I live with chronic pain/fatigue/insomnia/anxiety/depression. Some days I feel great and on top of the world. Others, the exact opposite because, like today, my entire body aches and I can barely move. Sometimes being human can be such a drag, huh?
  • Last but not least, my favorite television show is Good Luck Charlie. Yes, you read that right, a kid’s show on the Disney Channel. It reminds me of the 80’s sitcoms I grew up with. Clean comedy centered around a large family in an AWESOME house. I’m weird, I know. 😉

So, there you have it. I’m not perfect. I just like to share what I DO know and encourage others to keep fighting the good fight. I pray that when you come to Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven you find other mothers that you can relate with… or even laugh at, ahem… While we are human, full of flaws, and far from perfect we can still pray, encourage, and share what we DO know. We appreciate every single one of our readers, and pray for all of you with each blog post we write. We are blessed to be a blessing. So go be blessed, blessings. 😉