Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
This verse has not always been an easy one for me. Some days it’s still not. As a child I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused for two years by a teenager in the church we were attending. During the time of the abuse, I was told by a Sunday School teacher that if we are truly children of God and love him no harm will ever come to us.
The abuse took place almost 30 years ago, and yet I still have a problem with trust. I have a hard time trusting God, my husband, friends, etc. I spent quite a bit of time in counseling this summer to deal with the abuse and my trust issues.
I can’t quite say I’m totally ready to trust everything everyone says to me, which may not be a real bad thing. However, I am learning to trust in the Lord my God, who has used my abuse for good.
So, how did this change come about? First of all, in Proverbs 3:5 Solomon tells us to Trust in the LORD with all your heart. It sounds easy doesn’t it, until some trial or circumstance comes against us. I know when situations arise I start to doubt and freak out that God is not really there for me.
Yet, verse 5 goes on to say, “and lean not on your own understanding.” WOW!!!! What a concept! At 10 years old when the abuse started, I had no idea how this could be good. All I could think about was how to stop this from happening. I felt helpless and that no one was there for me, even God.
Growing up I still went to church and 2 years after the abuse started, God moved my family to a different church. Things got better, because I was no longer in the same church or home of the teen. Yet, with not telling anyone about the abuse until I was 22, I found myself serving God, but not trusting Him to really care for me.
I didn’t realize how it could be used for good until this past summer when I asked my pastor’s wife, my mom, if I could give my testimony during a Ladies Night Out. As I told about 20 women what had happened as a child and how God has completely renewed my relationship with my husband, and the forgiveness I offered towards the people I saw a lady, I didn’t know, who was just bawling. She came up to me afterwards and expressed how brave she thought I was to give such a testimony. She then proceeded to tell me that she was abused as a child the way I was by her own father. The lasting effects of abuse took a toll on her marriage and family. Yet now she feels that she could put her trust in God and He could help with the turmoil. I saw her recently and she told me that she has gotten help and God is really using her.
I had no idea that almost 30 years later that God cold turn something horrible into something good. Recently, I’ve felt that I need to tell people more of my testimony. I also feel that God is leading me to help those who have been abused. I do not know how yet, but Proverbs 3:6 states, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.”
Sometimes trust is like faith in the way that sometimes it is hard for me to say, “Ok, God, I place my trust in You in this situation. I know that You know what is best for me. I may not understand, but I will trust You. You said in Your word that You direct my path, and no matter where that leads I will place my trust in You and learn from it.”
I want to challenge you this week to place the trial, circumstance that may arise, or even a past pain in the hand of Jesus and trust Him to take care of it. It may not be overnight, but praise Him and thank Him for the difficult time and when the end finally comes around, let Him use you to minister to someone else.