Tag Archive Death of a Child

ByJennifer A. Janes

Mamas, We Need Some Perspective

Mamas, We need some perspective


A few months ago I shared some tips for slowing down and finding rest. I’m still working on that. Really, I am! The problem is that there are bills to pay, dishes to wash, laundry to clean, kids to take to therapy and dance lessons and church activities and playdates, laundry to fold and put away, meals to prepare, grocery shopping to do, more bills to pay, and lessons to teach!

It’s so easy to get overwhelmed and sucked into the dailiness of life, to get caught up in the stress of having too much month at the end of the money, diapers to change, bottoms to wipe, puke to clean up, floors to mop, bathtubs to scrub, and trash to take out.

We need some perspective. We need to focus on the eternal. I have been convicted of that as I watch the news reports of the Arkansas tornado that devastated communities a couple of hours north of us on my younger daughter’s birthday. Foundations are bare. Piles of debris are stacked around what used to be neighborhoods. Families are attending funerals instead of birthday parties. The communities ache. Actually, the whole state is heartbroken. I have prayed for peace and comfort, for strength to rebuild.

And then I was rocked by a mama named April. April has a bare foundation. April’s possessions are in those piles of rubble and strewn across central Arkansas. April is in a hospital room, and she has two funerals to plan. Her boys are gone, and it looks like God planned it that way.

But April has what I don’t have. I would be angry, like the person who shared April’s story. April, on the other hand, while she still has a lot to process, has unshakable faith in her God—that He is good and has a plan, even when she can’t understand it. She rejoices in her children’s freedom from the brokenness of this world and in the fact that she will see them again one day.

I need that kind of faith. I want it. I’m tired of fretting and being anxious about everything. There is something beautiful in complete surrender to the Father and His will, even when it makes no sense to us, even when it’s painful.

To get that faith, to come to complete surrender, we have to keep things in perspective. This world is not our home. God is working behind the scenes, doing things we can’t begin to imagine. And He’s preparing us for eternity.

Mamas, why don’t we give ourselves a gift this Mother’s Day. Let’s give ourselves the gift of perspective. With it, we’ll get a peace we never dreamed possible, even in the darkest of times.

There’s far more to this life than trusting in Christ. There’s also suffering for him. And the suffering is as much a gift as the trusting. From Philippians 1:27-30 MSG



The True Heroes of Mother’s Day

With Mother’s Day approaching, I find myself struck (yet again) with the same feelings I’ve been experiencing for several years in a row now. These feelings invoke deep gratitude within me, mixed with a touch of sorrow.

I can’t help but appreciate the beautiful women I consider the true heroes of Mother’s Day— also known as the mothers who have been forced to find the strength to continue living, even though their child’s life has ended.


The True Heroes of Mother's Day


Be it from miscarriage or born silently, to sickness such as cancer, war, an unforeseen accident, etc.— whatever the circumstance, there are precious women all over the world that have had to endure this heartache.

Each year, we have a Mother’s Day service in our church and honor all the mothers. And each year, I take notice of the many moms in our congregation who have faced the severe grief and pain of losing a child. These women hold their head high with a smile on their face. These women continue on in their everyday lives, operating in the strength only God can provide.

You may be one such woman. If that’s so, please know that I admire you. I admire your ability to carry on. I admire the strength you display. I cannot imagine what you have been through, and in complete honesty, for that I am grateful. All I know is that it cannot be easy. You inspire me to be the best mother I can be, to appreciate the time I have with my sweet daughters and know that every day and every moment is a blessing that is not to be taken lightly. And please know that you are in my heart and prayers.

For all you moms out there— I pray that you would take the time this Mother’s Day (and everyday) to celebrate the job God has entrusted you with and enjoy the day with your children. Embrace the gift you have been given and never, ever take it for granted.


Happy Mother’s Day!


Nothing For Granted

Do you know how blessed I am? I am very blessed. I have had two healthy pregnancies with easy labor and delivery, resulting in two perfect and beautiful little girls. I am so thankful to have never had to know the gut-wrenching pain of a miscarriage or loss of a child, and I selfishly pray that I will never have to. Yet, I have unfortunately witnessed many friends and family members, even acquaintances, endure such heartbreak. I have seen the tears and hurt, while many others endured silent sorrow. Some never seeing their precious baby outside of the womb, others able to meet their sweet baby, only to have to let them go. In fact, one of the saddest funerals I have ever had to attend was that of a darling little girl who lived a meager 19 days. Parents, family, and friends were overcome with grief and there was only one pallbearer needed. I watched as her Daddy carried the smallest casket I’ve ever laid eyes on to a grave that had been dug much too soon. We may never know or understand why God chooses to allow these things to happen, and the only bit of comfort I’ve ever been able to offer to those in mourning is the realization that they will be able to see that loved one once again in heaven.

I’ve always heard people say, “You have to go through this trial, because one day you are going to help someone else having to go through the same thing.” I know there are many of you out there who have probably dealt with the grief I’m talking about, possibly even dealing with it now. I went to high school with a girl named Krystal. Krystal is now married and has a daughter, Lyla, and a son, Wyatt. Wyatt, however, was silently born and is now with her only in spirit. I don’t even want to imagine what I would do if I was in the same situation, but I admire Krystal and the way she chooses to get through this chapter of her life in a positive way by honoring the memories she has of her son. I believe she will truly be able to help someone that may have to go through the same thing. She inspires me to make the very best of what my life is and not take anything for granted.

Krystal has recently started a blog in honor of Wyatt and this journey she has had to face. With her permission, I am sharing a link to her blog, because I feel it may be of help to some of you who understand exactly how she is feeling. I am also asking for all of our readers to help us pray for Krystal and her family as they cope with their loss. Feel free to check out Krystal’s blog here http://www.kdforgey.blogspot.com/