Okay, so for real, Markus is my husband. However, not only do I love him, but I like him a whole, whole lot — which also makes him my boyfriend. 😉
Anyway, I know I’ve read this scripture before, but when I read it the other morning, it stuck out at me. It made me smile, because I always call Markus my heater. When it’s especially cold and it’s time to lay down, I say, “I hope you have your heater on.” When I read this scripture, I sent him a text with the scripture and the sarcastic comment, “Now repent for all of those times you made me move my feet!” He laughed. And that’s another reason why he’s my boyfriend.
Recently, he went on a duck hunting trip with his dad and brother. Because of that, I was without my heater for 3 nights in a row. I love him THAT much. And that’s just yet another reason why he’s my boyfriend.
I said all that to say that I’m super pumped that God loved ME enough to bless me with an awesome boyfriend/husband/heater. I’m also thankful that God loved me enough to make sure that I wasn’t alone, and I’ll always be warm.
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? –Psalm 27:1
Today I was watching a Red Riding Hood with my daughter. I was watching as the village was terrified of the Werewolf. For over 20 years this village would sacrifice their best animals to this beast so they would not be attacked. I kept thinking that is such a silly thing to be afraid of. Then I thought on my own fears.
In my last blog, I let you all know I was abused for 2 years. I know what fear can do to a person. I did not tell anyone about the abuse that I endured until we had moved completely out of Southern California ten years later. Only then did I feel safe enough to tell my parents about the abuse. Even then, I did not tell them everything. They kept an eye on me, but I was a pretty good actress (in my own eyes). Pretty soon I met my husband and we got married and lived happily ever after. NOT!!
There are times during our marriage that I fear my husband will think that my healing is not worth it and leave. I fear that he will have an affair and leave me for another woman. The fear paralyzes me and then my imagination runs wild with crazy thoughts and I blow up at him for no reason at all. Have we all been there?
Satan knows how to use our minds. He knows what will make us tick. He doesn’t want us to grow in Christ or be used by Him. He wants us defeated, robbed of joy, dead in Christ (John 10:10). He doesn’t want you to be victorious.
As a child of Christ, I don’t have to be paralyzed by fear anymore. Does that mean I’m never afraid? No way. So how did I get over this? This past August, Matt and I went to my 20th High School Reunion in Southern California. We took 3 days to ourselves and had a good time with my best friend from High School. The Sunday after my reunion, Matt and I went to visit my former church family. The worship was awesome and I really felt the presence of the Lord. Then Pastor preached upon daily remembering the promises God gave His children.
The first verse that came to mind that day was 2nd Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but, of power, of love, and a sound mind.” That was all it took for me. Every time that spirit of fear came upon me I would quote that verse. There were days I was quoting it all day.
I don’t say it as often anymore, but every once in awhile when life is overwhelming, I say it out loud for all to hear. Anymore when Satan tries to get my mind thinking that my husband is not happy with me, I say out loud that my husband loves me with his whole heart. Then I will go and put my arms around him, just to hear him say, “I love you.”
There are many other verses out there that speak about fear. One that I think about today is Psalm 27:1, “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” I no longer need to fear the past, present, or future. All because Jesus paid the price so I could be His child. He is my light when my mind gets dark and goes into the shadows of doubt. He is my strength when life has me down.
So today, I challenge you to take a promise from God’s word and apply it to a situation in your life. I can guarantee that God’s word will not return void (Isaiah 55:11).
You know how it is. You spend every single day in a rush. You’re doing your best to keep on top of the kids, the house, the errands, the meals, Bible reading, the finances, work, etc. Your husband is exhausted from a long week at work himself, especially if he has a high demanding job like all the ladies here at Raising Sticky Hands To Heaven do. The last thing you think you can possibly find time for is a date night, right? I mean, sure, you have time for you know what here and there, but I mean a real date night.
“But I don’t have a sitter for the kids, and we don’t have the money to go out! And even then we can’t hear each other in the restaurant or we just sit at the movies and stare at a screen, how are we supposed to connect?!”
I’ll tell you how. Have a date night at home. Yes, you read that right. At home.
My husband and I began doing this a few years ago. We feed the kids their dinner at the usual time, put them to bed, and then we have date night. We have a quiet dinner alone, mostly uninterrupted, and then we plan something for the remainder of the night.
Sound like a lot of work? I promise it isn’t. It’s usually a group effort, which makes it fun. We’re working together to aim towards something we will both benefit from! Sure, it takes a little bit of sacrificing. For instance, we usually stay up almost all night when we have date night, meaning it’s a LONG day the next day. But we both agree that it is worth it.
So how exactly do we plan this out? Well, it’s different every time. Usually one of us makes dinner and the other one plans an activity. By activity, I mean something creative and fun. Occasionally we will have a “theme”. (Oh, and the activity is kept secret from the other one usually… unless we just have a night of music and talking. Then we’re upfront.) One night I brought in Scrabble and set the rule that the words could only have something to do with our relationship. Another night he set up our living room to feel like we were in a cabin in the mountains. We’ve had “casino night” and “truth or dare”. Once I even planned a beach night! It goes on and on… The key is to keep it light, fun, and flexible. You never know when one of the kids might wake up, so be cautious of that also.
I can’t take all the credit for this, I did get the idea from a book/kit that we purchased. I’ll post some links at the bottom of this post for you to check them out, but I wanted to still give you some ideas just in case you couldn’t afford to buy the products… (Though if you can, I seriously recommend them. Yeah, some of the idea cards are a little cheesy… but they’ll help you come up with your own ideas and the questionnaires will help you get to know each other better.)
So, if you and your hubster are in a rut, bored, or everything is great but you just think this sounds fun, go for it! And if you want, come back and tell us what ideas you had! (Keep the personal details to yourself, please. 😉 ) And remember, having a date night with your husband does NOT make you a bad mother. It makes you a good one! (And for the single mommies, you’re all still excellent moms. I hope you find no offense in this post.)