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Tales From the Darkside… of Night That Is

Photo credit: Lillian Nelson

Photo credit: Lillian Nelson

Sleep is something that is very precious to the beholder.

Since having a hysterectomy in March of 2012, I have found that I am spending most of my life awake. Sleeping hours are few and far between. I have learned, for the most part, to make peace with the darkest hours… literally.

I guess you never stop watching the clock and counting down each hour that you have left until the alarm goes off. First, I watch midnight come and go. Then 1 a.m., 2 a.m., and so on. As I type this blog, it is after 4 in the morning. The alarm goes off at 6 for the kids to get ready for school and David to get ready for work.

Psalms 127:2 says, “It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” I really need to get back to claiming this verse for myself. My body can not keep up with the everyday wears and tears of life. I get sleepy while I am driving or just doing everyday things. Insomnia is a horrible thing for anyone to have, especially if you are a mother. I am very irritable with the kids and have found myself getting snappy with others, all because I am exhausted. Keeping up with everyday life is nearly impossible and then you add the “super mom” duties on top of that, and you get a walking Zombie. I have found myself driving down the road to only realize that I didn’t know how I had gotten that far. I didn’t remember driving those miles and I sometimes have to stop and get my focus back on, just to remember where I was going in the first place.

Psalms 4:8 says, “I will both lay my down in peace, and sleep: for Thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”

I know that God has given me peace of mind, now I just need that rest and sleep to go with it. I know many women who suffer from Insomnia and know first hand how serious of an issue it can be.

So, as you snuggle up in your bed and await your peaceful slumber, be mindful and prayerful for those of us who have learned to tell time by the setting of the moon… Sweet dreams.


Because I Love My Husband, I Brush My Teeth…

Do you ever have one of those days that just going to the bathroom seems like a chore? You’re so tired that you have to make yourself get up and get going?  Boy, the older I get, the more of these days I have.

Life has a  way of wearing you down.  I bring a lot of it on myself though.  Josie and Isaac both are in middle school.  Both are in band. Josie plays basketball for the middle school team.  Creed is in 3rd grade and has decided not to play youth football this year, which is fine with me.  He loves his DS and his NOOK, which was the only thing he asked for, for his birthday, and asked for it months in advance… He loves art and loves to read. Essie is in 1st grade and does dance.  She has 3 classes a week to prepare for competitions and also is cheering for 1st grade football.

All 4 kids are in the Mighty Warriors Dance/Drama team for church. (We don’t miss church for any activities. God comes first!)

Needless to say, the lives of my children keep me busy!  I wouldn’t trade it for anything though. They do what they love and show God’s light while doing it.

When they are at school, on some days, I work running our church’s mission building. There is sooo much stuff to get done there, that sometimes it feels never ending, but it is so worth it.

I also enjoy watching all of my nieces when I’m needed.  I like to be there for them and want them to know that I’m here for them.

Now that I have SOME of my life laid down, so that you can understand what I do, you can see why I stay tired. David has to work full time but he does help when he can. His mother passed away before he was 3 years old and his father passed away almost 9 years ago.  My mother is disabled, so we don’t have the help that most people do.

More power to the single parents out there or military parents, who have to do things on their own. I’m so glad that I can share my day with my spouse on a daily basis.  God blessed me with David and I could never ask for anyone better.  He provides for us, loves us, and takes care of us all.  He is a living example of what a husband and father are supposed to be for their families.

So, if you have parents, in-laws, etc., that are able and willing to help you in any area, don’t take it for granted. Remember that there are those out there who would love to take advantage of help easing a burden or making their load a little lighter.

Everyday, when David get home, he greets me with a kiss. Even if there may have been some tension over a disagreement and such. Which makes me so glad that I got up and brushed my teeth…


Help Me Lord, For I Am Weary

Lord I am needing You more, I know that I’ve prayed this prayer before. Lord it seems that each passing day increases my need.

Whenever the calm starts to blow. Whenever my friend becomes my foe. When I feel all alone and nobody else knows, I go back on my knees.

Back on my knees where I can talk to my Father. He hears the sigh, whisper, or cry from someone like me.

Any place I can find becomes an old tear stained alter. Making my faith known, in touch with the throne, back on my knees.

Lord I am weary in this race and I’m well aware that there is no second place. To win or to lose, in my own hands, is my destiny.

So Lord here I am once again, to pray til I catch my second wind. I’ve found in this race that I keep better pace if I run on my knees.

This is the words to an old song by the McFalls. I have always loved the words to it and it is the type of song that can be used now as it was then. It is timeless.

As this world is drawing to an end, (I believe that we are not far from Christ’s return), I have found that it gets harder and harder to press forward in this race. My desire is for God to find me “so doing” when He returns to get His children. I never want to be in His way or out of His will. In these last days, it is so important to keep going and not give up. If you fail, get back up, don’t stay down. We all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. It is by His grace that we are forgiven.

My strength is non-existent, but God’s strength makes me strong. There are so many times that I get so weary that I just want to quit and give up. I have to hide myself in the shadow of His wings and get rid of “self weakness” so that He can do the pushing me on.

If you find yourself weary, let God “re-boot” you. Get re-energized and press forward! It’s gonna be worth it all!